


Rubber Duckie, You're the One

by ThetaSigma



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Also I own several of them, Established Relationship, Humor, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Most of these are real ducks btw, Rubber ducks everywhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 06:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21315769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThetaSigma/pseuds/ThetaSigma
Summary: Walking down the street one day, Crowley sees a toy store's display window and is drawn to a rubber duck. He distinctly remembers Aziraphale telling him, "I asked them for a rubber duck!"This turns into a bit of a joke with them.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 104





	Rubber Duckie, You're the One

Crowley is strolling along the street, no real destination or goal in mind. He’s got another hour or so until he meets Aziraphale for lunch*. But it’s a lovely autumn day, a bit of bite in the air, and Crowley actually enjoys walking through London.

_ *Aziraphale had absolutely insisted he needed to get the shop in order again. Which makes very little sense to Crowley, as Aziraphale has delightedly whittled his open hours down to one or two a week and actively discourages people from entering, let alone purchasing a book. It’s far more likely Aziraphale is organising in a way that means one book gets moved and seven or so are added to his ‘oooh re-read this!’ pile _

A shopfront stops him suddenly. It’s a toy store with a dazzling array of toys -- teddy bears and train sets and dolls and puzzles and board games. But what catches Crowley’s eye are the rubber ducks in the corner. Innocuous little yellow rubber things, but Crowley suddenly remembers Aziraphale saying “I asked them for a rubber duck” and ducks into the shop.

He purchases a mid-size rubber duck. It’s bright yellow and has a red beak and beady black eyes. 

“D’you do gift wrap?” Crowley asks. He doesn’t care whether or not they ever have in the past, because they do now. He makes sure of it.

“I… yes, we do,” the clerk answers, a bit surprised by their answer. Startled, they move to place the duck carefully in a box and gift wrap it with a set-up they seem shocked to see there. Crowley offers a bland smile at the clerk’s look of puzzlement at him.

Crowley pays for the rubber duck and takes the gift bag from the clerk. He ensures that they’ll find an extra twenty quid in their pocket later on today (tipping may not be allowed in these stores (often with some cheesy sign that says  _ ‘our pleasure is to serve you, please do not tip’) _ , but he’s yet to see a sign that says  _ ‘do not miracle extra money into our clerk’s pockets, it is our pleasure to serve you’ _ ). 

He checks his watch and starts strolling in the direction of the Ritz. When Aziraphale starts to organise the bookstore, it’s always a toss-up if he’s punctual. In every other situation, Aziraphale is at least ten minutes early (while Crowley is usually at least ten minutes late to any rendezvous that does not involve Aziraphale), but he can get so distracted by his books that often Crowley beats him to the location.

Aziraphale is early today -- perhaps the books he’d stumbled across hadn’t been as interesting. Crowley drops into the seat next to him after kissing his cheek. After ordering, Crowley pushes over the gift bag to him. “For you, angel.”

Aziraphale goes pink with pleasure. “Oh!” His smile is wide and radiant, and he hasn’t even seen what the gift is yet. This is the part Crowley likes best -- the part where Aziraphale is just pleased that he’s been thought of. He gives his half-smile and waits.

Aziraphale cautiously lifts the gift-wrapped box out of the gift bag (perhaps he’d gone a bit overboard, Crowley thinks) and sets to unwrapping it. He’s excessively cautious, carefully lifting the tape away at the edges and unfolding it from the box, then folding it again to the side. He opens the box and pulls out the rubber duck.

“You remembered!” he says delightedly, examining the duck carefully. “A rubber duck!”

“For all your non-holy baths, angel,” Crowley says.

The rubber duck stays in the center of the table for the rest of their lunch. 

*** 

This starts a tradition of them exchanging rubber ducks. The next gift is for Crowley, a red rubber duck with devil horns and pitchfork. Crowley retaliates with an angelic one, halo and wings and harp.

Aziraphale then finds a rubber duck that is somehow a snake. It’s got a beak but is also green and has scales and the cobra’s hood. Crowley finds a rubber duck with glasses and a shirt that says I heart books, reading the ducktionary. 

Aziraphale gives him a rubber duck with stars and planets on it. Crowley gives him one that’s a tartan pattern. Aziraphale finds one that’s an apple (but also a rubber duck, perhaps a rubber duck in an apple costume?). Crowley retaliates with one in full knight armour holding a sword.

Aziraphale, demonstrating he’s paid attention to pop culture in the past century, gives Crowley a Darth Vader one. Crowley gives him a Shakespeare duck.

There are ever more ducks: pirates and astronauts and butterflies and readers and gardeners and ones that look like real ducks and knights and famous people. Every bookshelf in the shop has a rubber duck on it. Crowley’s plants all have rubber ducks sitting on the soil. 

The frequency of these gifts slow drastically as they run out of new ones to give each other.

The last two ducks they buy are another angel and demon. These two they send to Hell, care of Beelzebub, with the note  _ "In case I ever have to take a bath there again, there is now, in the 9 circles of Hell, such a thing as a rubber duck. - Crowley" _   
  


**Author's Note:**

> Btw, most of these are real rubber ducks. My Google search history is the weird as hell (I'm pretty sure you can identify writers/fic writers based on their google search history because it's all weird nonsensical shit, like mine had 20 variations of 'rubber duck' ('rubber duck space', 'rubber duck angel', 'rubber duck apple', etc).   
I also own several of them (the Shakespeare duck, several ducks reading, several ones that look like real ducks, several butterflies, several pirates, at least one angel and demon. I also own a rubber duck that is meant to be Vincent Van Gogh, but that's neither here nor there).


End file.
